A 73-year-old letter writer is wrestling with whether it is appropriate to tell their 96-year-old stepmother that they do not want to inherit her property.
The stepmother owns a house in another town, the same house the letter writer grew up in, which she currently rents out to tenants.
Despite her age and the value of the asset, the stepmother has never discussed her estate plans with any of the family members involved.
The letter writer posed the question directly to MarketWatch’s The Moneyist advice column, asking: “Is it appropriate to tell someone you don’t want an inheritance?”
The concern is practical as much as it is emotional, with the letter writer worried about becoming responsible for managing a property located in another town.
The stepmother’s son is named as the executor of her estate, but he lives several hours away and is unlikely to handle the day-to-day logistics of the property.
That geographic reality means the letter writer would likely be the one left dealing with the house, including its upkeep, tenants, and eventual sale.
The letter writer has two sisters involved in the family dynamic, one is 75 years old and disabled, and the other is 80 years old and lives across the country.
Neither sister appears to be in a practical position to take on the burden of managing an inherited property, which compounds the letter writer’s concern about being the default caretaker.
The situation raises a broader question about inheritance etiquette and whether adult children or stepchildren are ever obligated to accept assets they do not want or cannot reasonably manage.
Estate planning professionals generally advise that beneficiaries do have the legal right to disclaim an inheritance through a formal process, which can redirect assets to other heirs without gift tax consequences.
Having an honest conversation with an aging parent or stepparent about estate intentions can also help avoid confusion and conflict among surviving family members after a death occurs.
The Moneyist column, written by Quentin Fottrell, regularly addresses the intersection of family relationships and financial decisions, particularly those involving inheritance, estates, and elder care responsibilities.
